Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
