So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
