she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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