You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
