She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
