Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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