He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize