There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
