i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
