Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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