So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize