The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
