If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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