Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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