I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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