the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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