She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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