I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize