I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
