butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
