Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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