she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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