I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
