He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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