There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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