i barfeds in our rink
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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