you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i came on her dog
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
