hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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