i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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