a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
