How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize