I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
