I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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