If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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