Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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