I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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