you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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