i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize