If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
