Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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