Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My vagina just clenched in fear
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
