if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
