Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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