Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
