How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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