You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
