Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
