I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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