a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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