he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize