We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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