i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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