I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
