If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
