im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize