I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
