guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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