I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
