I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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