Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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