i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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