oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize