You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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